Simple, Not Easy
For about a year, I have had a really hard time articulating why I want to hike the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT). My reasons felt fake and invalid. Often I wondered if I was falling under the influencer spell. I had reasons, as you will see later on . However, there was a problem, I could never take myself seriously when I talked about it.
The past two years my life have been busy. I was working full-time, traveling, I completed a graduate degree, my wife was in Philadelphia becoming a Dr. of Veterinary Medicine, and my personal commitments were constant. I fully understand my privilege and that many people would love to have the opportunities that I have been able to capitalize on. I felt a lack of control. My time no longer felt like mine. I had to ask myself, how do I regain control? How do I do something that is only for me? What am I feeling passionate about?
I decided I would give my self a task. Something only I could control. A goal I talked about doing but never actually thought I would. I decided I was going to make a serious effort to thru-hike the PCT. I had backpacked sections of the trail, felt connected to it, and often wondered if I could hike the entire length. I have an interest in endurance challenges, I am not fast, but have a good mindset and can grit out a finish. But again, the hardest effort I had ever completed was Rim to Rim to Rim and I swear my soul is still somewhere in the Grand Canyon. I also have not backpacked more than 4 days at a time. How do I even start planning? Well… I just I started. First by budgeting, how much I will need to save, how long it will take me to save. Eventually this evolved into researching resupplies and what gear I want to take on the hike. The planning had snowballed. I knew that in order to stay interested and not put this idea back in the closet, like so many ideas before, I had to continue to take steps. I also had to come up with a why.
Figuring out why I want to complete this hike has been a process. I had countless reasons that I could say but couldn’t figure out if those were my reasons or reasons I had heard in a YouTube video. I needed some help. Lucky for me Backpacker Radio exists and radio hosts Zach Davis and Julianna Chauncey have resources.
For those unfamiliar, Backpacker Radio creates marathon length podcasts mostly about backpacking and thru-hiking. Much of the content is my kind of humor…immature. If you like poop stories, go listen to Backpacker Radio. Behind the humor, however, is a wealth of knowledge from individuals that have complete these long hikes. If you listen closely, you might learn something.
Zach Davis, wrote Pacific Crest Trials, a psychological and emotional guide to succesfully thru-hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. The book provides a great perspective on how to mentally prepare for a thru-hike, including a guide to figure out why. Chapter two of the book suggests making 3 lists, “Why I am hiking”, “What happens when I succeed”, and “What happens if I fail”. My lists are provided below.
I am thru-hiking the Pacific Crest Trail because:
It is there and why not;
Unlike many other commitments I have followed through on in the past 5 years, this is 100% for me only;
My favorite version of myself is when I am outside;
Rocking Chair Shit (check out the stories page);
I will be completeing something fully in my control.
What will happen when I succeed:
Have the confidence that I can do something hard;
Start a new chapter in my life focussed on what fulfills me;
Rocking chair shit.
If I give up on the Pacific Crest Trail, I will:
Have to explain to family and firends why I failed;
Have to write a why I failed post on this blog;
Lack of sense of accomplishement;
Continue to de-commit from goals throughout my life.
Good lists, right?!… Meh, I was not bought in. The lists are accurate but lacked that simplistic yet powerful reason I was searching for. I did not want a list of 15 reasons on why I am hiking. I have created this idea that my life is complicated. These lists seemed complicated. I needed something simple. A phrase that was 3 words long and could summarize what I was trying to achieve.
Then I heard it, “Simple, but hard”.
Making a change is a simple decision but the steps are hard. Walking 2650 miles from Mexico to Canada is a simple idea. You have 4 tasks each day; walk, eat, drink, and sleep. However, by no definition is it going to be easy. The challenges are looming.
Leaving my job
Physically being ready
Mental preparation
Post trail depression
My choice to hike the PCT is simple. I want a change, so I am going to make a change. I am ready to face the challenges, but It will be painful. I am worried about the self doubt, people trying to convince me otherwise, physical pain, and struggle with reintegration. I am excited about building the resilience needed to be successful. Plus, this is going to be some real rocking chair shit. So, next time I am asked why I am going to thru-hike the PCT?
The PCT is “Simple, not easy”.
